Post 1. So today was shit…

15 July 2021,

So today was shit.

I often wonder if it would be easier if I had always been in a wheelchair, because I wouldn’t know any difference.

Today has been a shitty day, Martin and Izzy went out to take his mum to an appointment, I said I was fine but I ended up wanting to get dressed so tried to do it on my own. I’m so bloody stubborn that I ended up half dressed with no bra. By the way, bras are impossible one armed. So are ponytails but most of my hair has fallen out so there’s no need for those now anyway. Today I realised how small the world has got. No disabled trollies at m&s (a basket would have left me armless!) decided against a mooch down Rochester high st because it’s not set up for wheelchairs. I used to love that. Yesterday at primark everything was too high and if I wanted to stop and look someone would get in the way. Or I would be in theirs. Looks like the hermits life is for me. I never realised being in a wheelchair would make you invisible too. While I’m moaning I’ll tell you I hate the way I look now. I’m so frigging spotty, like a teenager spotty! I’ve gone from a short chubby girl with gorgeous hair and a pretty face, to a short chubby girl with acne, and short thinning hair! And to top it off it’s now growing back (yay), but I have short spikes to add to the mix. I never realised how vein I am until now!

Please don’t get me wrong 9/10 I’m happy and very very grateful to be alive! I’m 100% of the time happy to be alive.

On a positive note if I’m thankful for anything Covid has given me it’s the knowledge of how much i actually mean to people, how much they care and are impacted by your misfortune. I have been overwhelmed with love and support.

Bex💕🌈