Post five, Being Positive

Being Positive.

I get the urge to write whenever Im in a bad mood or something crappy happens but I don’t want my blog full of me moaning about how shit my life is now. Even though I want to use it as therapy. Its better to focus on the positives.

We joined the gym a few weeks ago and I have been using the pool to try and get some light exercise in. When I say exercise what I mean in walking up and down the pool slowly with my dodgy arm sitting on top of a float and the good arm hanging on to a family member, then after I’ve managed to do enough I reward myself with a dip in the jacuzzi. This isn’t as easy as you would think, I have to gradually get in so I start on my knees to try and get my breath back after the short walk around the pool, hanging on to the said family member who has been stuck with me while the others are in the sauna/steam room. Then I slowly sit down and then back up again until my chest gets used to being underwater. I have been doing this a couple of times a week and have been feeling good about it. So this is great, this is progress, but I have still been getting the urge to go use the gym. So today I bit the bullet.

I booked an induction thinking there would be hardly anything I could do, I got there explained my situation and to my surprise I got pushed to try things I thought would be impossible! Firstly I went on the arm handles thingy, I did a few minutes before I got a bit out of breath but it was doable, then we tried the leg push back thingy thats attached to a weight. Don’t ask me what weight I just know its the lightest one. I did 10. After that he got me to do another arm thing you have to grab hold of the handles that are either side of you as your sit-in, then push them together. My dead arm didn’t really move but I could grip it . Again on the lowest possible, there was another army one and then he took me over to what I can only describe as a half hamster wheel. Im thinking I’m never going to be able to do this. So I climbed on and had a go. To my utter amazement I did it! I did a whole 2 minutes!!

I literarily did 20 minutes of gym work in total which is nothing compared to what I used to do but in the PT’s words, thats 20 minutes more than I would have done.

I can’t tell you how proud I am of myself.

Afterwards we all went in the pool and I did my usual up and down, then to top it off the jacuzzi.

So today was a good day.

I've been looking at wigs recently as my hair although is slowly growing back, is still not as nice as it used to be.

I still don’t know why I lost so much of it, wether it was the drugs I was on, or covid itself, even the stress. All I know is its gone. I tried hair extensions but you can see through my thin hair so I gave up on that idea and have put them aside for our marriage blessing next year. Hopefully it’ll be somewhat back to normal by then. Its the only reason we didn’t book it for this year! Well I’ve decided not to get one. Ive never been a fan of looking fake and I can spot a wig a mile off, its an occupational hazard. You can take the girl out of the hairdressers but you can’t take the hairdresser out of the girl.

Talking of fake, I miss my eyelashes too. I would get them done every week during the summer because mascara would melt, but I can’t lay down on my back now so thats out. I said I wouldn’t moan so I won’t, what I was aiming for was I bought a silk bonnet to protect my hair when I sleep. I swear the bipap machine isn’t helping it with the strap that goes over and around my head, Im planning on putting it on underneath it. Hopefully I get on ok. God knows what Ill look like! Maybe Ill take a pic for you!!

Bex 💕🌈