Today marks a year. 🚑 ❤️‍🩹 02/01/22.

A year ago today I was taken into hospital with very low blood oxygen as I was suffering from covid 19. It was less than 30 and was getting worse as I traveled to hospital in a blue lit ambulance with sirens. I had no idea what was coming or the agony my family was going to be put through as a result. Martin hadn’t got symptoms yet but he was about to suffer from a bout of covid himself that would make him so Ill that he would need to be put on a course of steroids and antibiotics himself. He wasn’t eating and the kids were recovering from covid and also trying to look after Martin and make him eat.

He was determined to stay out of hospital because he couldn’t leave the kids on their own. Luckily he recovered but it took a few months for him to be back to normal.

I’ve personally written about my experience loads on here so I thought Martin could write a little of his experiences while I was in hospital and I will also be sharing my diary that the staff in ICU kept for me and some pictures In a po later in the week.

I can’t tell you how proud I am of them for how they pulled together. The kids even raised over a thousand pounds for the icu.

We have all had so much love and support over the last year. I can’t thank everyone enough.

Bex 🌈💕

Martin

Bex started to feel quite rough on boxing last year and by January the 2nd she was really having trouble breathing so asked me to call the ambulance. The ambulance crew were quickly here and started to help her but with her sats around 30% things were not looking great. It was really scary for me, Izzy and Wills but nothing Bex would have been thinking.

Once the ambulance went we hugged each other and I told them mum would be ok, I had to wait until around midnight to find out how things were.

Bex text me to say she was in a&e and sent a photo of herself, at around 2 am on the 3rd the hospital called to say they need to sedate and place her on a ventilator in icu, this was mega scary because of what was on the news and the likely outcome when it comes to that.

Sleep was not very good that night and in the morning I had what seemed to be hundreds of texts asking for updates which if I’m honest I couldn’t really deal with and I broke down a lot of the time. So Izzy started a group text that we could update once a day or as and when we had news. Bex’s friend is a nurse so she could translate anything I had trouble understanding. The hospital told me that they would do all they can to help her and they were giving her oxygen and medication to help fight the virus.

It was worrying when they told me she was laying on her front in pron, because this meant her oxygen demand was very high and her lungs were not doing well, and then this was the case for around two/three weeks and at one stage I was told that she only had about a 40% chance of surviving, and if the antibiotics don’t work they would need to have a very different and difficult conversation.

After the first week we could have Skype calls which were great to have, to be able to see Bex, but on the other hand it was not good seeing all the tubes and hearing the beeps of the machines.

William couldn’t do the first few as it was to hard for him to see Bex In that way. Izzy said she looked like a puffer fish which lightened the mood!

They started to wake Bex up on my birthday, the 17th January and planned to put a tracheotomy, in but this took a while to actually happen because it took a long time for the sedation to wear off. She missed our anniversary too on the 25th.

When Bex did finally start to wake up she was very confused and it took a few days to be able to talk to her and get a reaction back, but this was hard because she was unable to talk so I had to try and lip read. Luckily Izzy knew what she was saying most of the time so I used her to translate. One of the best moments was when she was awake is that we could visit her at the hospital! But as they brought Bex outside is was only for around 15 minutes . The first thing she asked us was if we had been eating vegetables! Even being so Ill she wanted to make sure we were looking after ourselves. One of the kids replied that they were only getting veg if it was already in the ready meals!! From then on the nurses would always ask on the phone if we were eating vegetables!! It was a standing joke!

William had been chief cook until then making sure we were eating because I didn’t have an appetite at all! He would text the pictures of his meals to Bex.

I phoned the icu department 3-4 times a day and I can’t thank the staff enough for the care they gave Bex and the chats they had with me, because at times I didn’t think she would be coming home and I had dark days thinking what would happen and how I would cope without her.

Even when Bex was awake I couldn’t totally relax until she was off the ventilator. She’s slowly improving everyday but needs me to care for her and can’t do everyday tasks that we all take for granted on her own. She still needs oxygen and a bypap machine to help with her breathing. Her mobility is limited because her oxygen levels drop when she moves around.

The kids have been amazing. Izzy is like the second mum in the house and has taken over paying bills and doing the shopping. She’s been a great help. William is a bit more withdrawn and can’t remember a lot of what happened. We also tried to keep it from him because he’s so close to Bex. He struggled with seeing her so Ill, but since she’s been home there’s nothing he won’t do for her.

Izzy is always in contact with her and will panic if she doesn’t answer her phone straight away. Bex has joked that we should put a camera in the living room so they can check up on her. I think she finds her loss of independence frustrating though, and the kids are obviously traumatised by their experience.

We’re all a lot closer now though and we make a good team.

Even Bella doesn’t leave her side, and will check up on her if I have to help her or god forbid give her a hug. She’ll poke her nose in between us as if to say ‘what you doing to my mum’! Bella used to bark everyday and watch the door waiting for bex to come home. I’m just happy to have her home!