A week before Christmas.
And I’m terrified. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy day to day but I’ve constantly got a pit in my stomach that’s stopping me from being able to relax. I watched the news last night and I ended up putting myself to bed to hide. That’s how I feel, I want to run away and hide. I ended up nearly having a panic attack and crying all over Martin and Izzy.
I’m conscious about annoying people by going on about my experience with covid, but I want people to actually listen.
From what I’ve seen on twitter you have the likes of Denise Welsh and Catherine Tydesley spouting their non compliant shit, I even saw Gary Neville saying how we shouldn’t listen to government advice. It’s so dangerous these B list celebrities who have a zillion followers who hang on every word, advising people not to adhere to the guidelines. It makes my blood boil. I feel like a little tiny ant sized person shouting for them to look at me to see what can happen but nobody can hear me.
I heard today that we will possibly be going into another lockdown after Christmas and I’m not unhappy about it. It means I will feel a bit safer for a few weeks.
I’m so angry with the government for losing any credibility they had left by not following their own rules. As predicted people aren’t listening anymore.
Because of this and the fact it’s Christmas and therefore the anniversary coming up of me getting sick, my mental health is really taking a battering lately.
What I want is to fall asleep and when I wake up this nightmare will be over. Unfortunately I tried that before and it didn’t work then either.
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